Sunday 25 March 2007

Big Tummy Calling

Hello!

I know some of you worry about me, bless your little hearts, so I've come to let you know how I am. And I'm fine.

I was off sick for a while, but I'm going back to work tomorrow and am miraculously well. So well I feel slightly guilty about it. And my tummy is ENORMOUS, which means I get to astound people by turning sideways and going, "Look! I'm only ten weeks pregnant and I'm showing already!" and then everybody congratulates me on having such a massive belly, and there is much talk of twins.

I don't think it is twins, by the way. Twins generally make people ill, and given my propensity for sickness... well, I can't believe I'd be feeling this well at ten weeks if there were two of them in there.

I am terribly proud of My Big Tum though. When I got broody, it's always the bump I coveted. I imagined myself stroking it - which I do, all the time. It's a very comforting thing, a bump. So if I tell you a secret, you must keep it to yourself. The thing is... I suspect it's not exactly a pregnancy-related thing. I mean I definitely am pregnant, but...

Clue number one:
When I saw the doctor a few weeks ago, I was already showing. But she had a good old prod about and said she couldn't feel my womb yet. Meaning that it was still in its normal pre-pregnancy position, tucked away out of sight and nice and small (after all, even now the foetus is only two centimetres long). And although I'm hardly a healthcare professional, I've had a good old poke and I definitely can't feel anything except a load of wobbly fat. And when I lie on my back, it redistributes itself and disappears.

Clue number two:
Ever since I had my first child, my stomach has been like an already-inflated balloon, or a T-shirt borrowed by a two-bra-sizes-bigger friend. It remembers what shape it was when I was pregnant, and will return to that shape at the slightest provocation. So that for the past four and a half years, whenever I've put weight on it's made me look pregnant. And despite having been a bit ill, I've been eating like a pig ever since I found out I was pregnant.

OK, so I'm eating for two, and just as with the last time, I'm permanently hungry (except last time I couldn't eat for weeks on end) (TORTURE). But I don't think developing foetuses actually need their mothers to eat two cakes and several pieces of chocolate every single day... if I ate that much before I was pregnant, I would definitely look very pregnant indeed.

But I don't care! I'm pregnant, I'm allowed to be fat. And I love having a bump, and want to have the Bump Benefit for as many months as possible, as I doubt I'll ever be pregnant again. Although come to think of it... all I have to do is eat lots of cake for the rest of my life and I'll have a permanent bump! Hurrah!

So anyway, yes. Last time I got to experience true starvation. I don't know whether I was technically actually really starving (there is an official medical definition for it), but I certainly wasn't far off. I discovered what it feels like to be Very Hungry Indeed, to have eaten nothing at all for two weeks, but be unable to eat.

Before I had a child, I was a fussy eater. A slow eater. A pick-at-your-food eater. An unable-to-eat-if-even-slightly-anxious eater. Not any more. Since I had Felix I've become a voracious and enthusiastic eater. Since I discovered true hunger, I've made the most of all food opportunities. And funnily enough, I'm currently reading The Life of Hunger by Amelie Nothomb, which has made me think even more about the subject.

Haha, this was a wonderfully female-colleagues-gossiping-around-the-kettley sort of a post. This blog is going to be a bit girly, isn't it? Maybe I shouldn't have let it be pink after all.

So anyway, pregnancy makes me hungry. It makes me have-to-eat-now-or-I'll-faint-or-throw-up hungry. Constantly. Hmmm, I'll just make myself a ham and spinach sandwich...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just tuck in while you can! So glad it's going OK for you and that you're enjoying your big bump!

The last four letters of teh verification is xlxl - Blogger knows your size :)

Ariel said...

At least you have an excuse to eat whatever takes your fancy... Make the most of it!